So, here’s the thing: as long as it took me to write this last story, it almost didn’t get written. Morgan, in fact, initially refused to let me write it… for inclusion in the podcast, anyway. My original pitch for Material Components, you see, was actually a little bit different from the finished project… and here I suppose I should say: if you actually intend to listen to the podcast, now’s the time, ‘cause it’s about to get spoily in here.

The original idea was this: two teenaged losers who are into magic wind up getting their hands on the real thing and come up with the brilliant- sarcastic usage here- idea of shooting up their high school and then bringing everybody back as zombies as the ultimate form of revenge for the ostracism they faced in their day-to-day lives (Note: this is not the source of the outbreak in Blood and Dust. Or maybe it kinda is. Or is entirely. I really don’t know, the zombies don’t tell me these things). Morgan immediately put the kibosh on this. To her, like I’m sure it is to thousands of others and maybe even to you, the subject of school shootings is a hot-button, nigh-unapproachable subject. It’s a matter that shouldn’t be trivialized, and I hope I haven’t done that here.

In fact, this story is a very personal one for me. Parts of it are almost autobiographical- I was one of those unlucky kids that faced the trials of the high school bully, and I definitely felt the dark gravity of the whirlpool of despair that Eli gets pulled down into. When you’re up against a situation like this, when the faculty seems unwilling to get wrangled into the situation and the safety of home is miles away both in the real world and in your heart, you go to some bleak, black places. You contemplate both methods of self-defense and revenge. Now, for whatever reason, one day this campaign of violence that I found myself embroiled in for months just… stopped. I didn’t ever really find out why. But in a way, I found out why it started, years later.

I was at a restaurant with my father one day, and had excused myself to go to the restroom. As I was washing my hands, the bathroom door opened, and in walked my worst nightmare. I found myself alone in the bathroom with this guy who had made my life a living Hell for so long. Who had driven me to thoughts of suicide, or, matter-of-factly, worse. I thought, given our interaction in the past, that this could only end one way. But instead of the daydreams I had put together in my head of “if I ever see that guy again,” this guy apologized. He told me he was a fucked-up human being at that point in his life, and he asked for my forgiveness. And instead of giving in to those fantasies of vengeance I’d concocted in my head in all the years prior, I swallowed my fear and my pride and I gave it. And as schmaltzy as it sounds, we shook hands and he walked away, and I never saw the guy again.

Now, I tried to leave the interpretation of the story open to the listener; that either Eli and his father, Matthew, were both touched and doomed by the power of the book and the dark forces it brought them into contact with, or they were both just two unbalanced people brought over the edge by the circumstances of their lives. There is no actual evidence of magic in the story, other than the results of Eli’s belief in it. It’s entirely possible that the darkness that Eli eventually succumbs to comes from within him rather than without.

That being said, my first pitch obviously wasn’t so deep, which is why Morgan initially rejected it. She thought, perhaps rightfully, that someone might get the wrong ideas from it, and be influenced to take the resolution of matters like this one into their own hands. Having experienced the feeling of being backed into such a corner myself, I hope that people get the right idea; that violence, no matter how seemingly justified at the time, should never be considered as a viable solution to violence. If you bring force to bear, you will only wind up bringing more force home to roost.

In the end, I’m glad she let me develop and go ahead with podcasting this story. I think that there are certain subjects which should be handled with care- but as a writer, I don’t think I should ever be forced to consider a subject completely off-limits. So I posit this question to you: are some tales best left untold? What topics, as an audience / reader, do you think should be taken off the table? And if your answer is “nothing”… tell me why.

Thanks for your time, folks, and we’ll catch you the next time the moon comes up.

-Dean Sasser

Dean@trickstermoon.com, Dean Sasser on Facebook, @Deanrockon on Twitter

Promo: Dark Journeys

Songs: Dark Matters – David Emeny

 

 Episode 06 - Material Components [00:58:57m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

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